Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0 and now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail. What can I do?

- Desperate

********************************************

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT! YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.If all works as designed; Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly. WAV files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.

These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech! Support

Source: Internet

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Customer:
Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support:
Yes, I can help you, are you ready to proceed?

Customer:
Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support:
The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart ma’am?

Customer:
Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support:
What programs are running ma’am?

Customer:
Let’s see, I have Past-Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support:
No problem, Love will gradually erase Past-Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of it’s own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma’am?

Customer:
I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support:
With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have completely erased.

Customer:
Okay, done, Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support:
Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer:
Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error-program not run on external components. What should I do?

Tech Support:
Don’t worry ma’am, It means the Love program is set-up to run on Internal Hearts but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer:
So what should I do?

Tech Support:
Can you pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realise Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your Limitations.

Customer:
OK, done.

Tech Support:
Now copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer:
Got it. Hey!!! My Heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support:
Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everyone gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang-up, Love is FreeWare. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer:
I promise to do just that. By the way, what’s your name?

Tech Support:
Just call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as the Great Physician, or just “I AM.” Most people feel all they need is an annual check-up to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer (ME) suggests a daily maintenance schedule for maximum Love efficiency.

Source: via different internet sites

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